Anyone else feel like their brain isn’t making it easy to recharge, to get mental capacity to deal with life? There’s just too much going on up there, how are we supposed to bring mindfulness to a situation when our brains are worrying about work, about relationships, about our health, about our workout, thinking about what we are going to eat today, to our workout tonight, to what is a prudent use of our money 20 years from now. There just seems to be a lot going on up there!
It’s all well and good that I said on sunday that we should find those things that create mental capacity for us… easier said than done right? Why does it seem like our brains are fighting this whole concept of mental capacity (yes, I understand that this sentence seems a little like I’m personifying our brains, and that’s because I am, but I am because it might be how our brains actually work. See below.)
I was talking to a friend about a podcast this week that talked about people who’s left and right parts of their brains were separated, surgically, to deal with major medical issues like epilepsy. And strange things started happening once the communication between the two sides of our brains was cut.
One women told of a time when she went into her closet to get dressed. And she reached out with her one hand to pick up a flowery dress that she wanted to wear. But as she tried to walk out of the closet, her other hand snatched a black dress from the rack and then that hand tried to get her other hand to drop the flowery dress.
that’s weird hey? It’s almost like her one hand wanted one thing, and her other hand wanted a different thing. And that might actually be what’s going on. In this case, one side of her brain that controls one hand (primarily) seems to want one thing and the other side of her brain, that controls the other hand, seems to want something else. One side of her brain wants to wear a flowery dress, the other side a black dress.
And the hypothesis, and it’s been a pretty solid hypothesis for a while now, is that there are actually many little “brains” that make up our brain. Our brain doesn’t seem to be a single entity, all focused on a single thing. But our brain seems to be many little “brains” who all want different things. In the woman’s case, one part of her brain wants to wear the flowery dress, and at the same time, another part of her brain wants to wear a black dress. In a brain that can communicate with all parts, it seems that this “disagreement” would be handled before it gets to “pulling the dress off of the rack”. But that “disagreement” seems to be still going on, under the surface.
How many times have I been invited out for drinks, later in the evening, after I’ve had a long day. Been in class all morning. Office all afternoon. Run club. and then… drinks? There is part of me that aboslutely wants to go, because it will be fun and great to get reconnected with that person. But there is another part of my that just wants to go sit on out couch and watch TV. What if each and every one of those wants are one of those little “Brains” doing what they are supposed to do.
The one that looks out for my fun quotient, go.
The one that looks out for my relational quotient, go.
The one that looks out for my social quotient. go.
The one that looks out for my physical energy, don’t go (hit the couch).
The one that looks after getting me easy energy from sugary drinks, go (it knows that I’ll have a drink with sugar in it and that will achieve its goals)
The one that looks out for my future energy needs, don’t go (you have a heavy day tomorrow).
And probably many more that I’m not aware of.
And depending on who we are, and where we’ve come from, and probably many more factors, different little “brains” have different volumes. And in the end, the loudest “brain” wins.
So why should I care…
Two reasons:
First, if you have that mental chatter and struggle to make decisions, now you know it’s totally normal. That seems to be how your brain works.
Second, it seems that if you try to ignore or deny one of those little “brains” it just turns up the volume. Like a little kid trying to get their mom’s attention (mommy, mommy, Mommy, Mom, Mom, MOM, MOM, MOMMMMM) your brain will try to get your “attention” but just making the volume louder. That’s not great for creating mental capacity to deal with life.
So, what do we do??
First, make friends with all parts of your “brain”. Stop ignoring them. Stop telling them to shut up. Stop telling that part of your brain that you are not wanted. Because that just increases the mental “noise” and reduces your mental capacity to deal with life.
Second, listen to that part of your “brain”. What is it telling you about what you want or need? What is it telling you about things you value? What can you learn about you?
Finally, if you don’t want that little “brain” to be the loudest, instead of telling it to go fly a kite, tell it that you appreciate what it’s trying to do, and you do hear it, but today, you are choosing to go in another direction. You will be careful and pay attention to what that little “brain” “wants” but you choose to go a different direction. And thank that part of your brain for trying to keep you safe.
It’s crazy to think of one part of your “brain” needing to calm another part of your “brain” but if this hypothesis is right, that’s exactly what we need to do.
Be kind to yourself today. Make sure all parts of your brain feel heard. But that doesn’t mean they get to make all the decisions in your life.
I hope this little awareness helps you create a little mental capacity to deal with life today.
-V